banner, obey barnes
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GENERAL ANNOUNCEMENT: I am no longer checking the notes of that one post for people who want the link to my badbrains blog. If you want the link to my bad brains blog, please send me an ask. Thank you.
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"Oh no! Anon-sama gave me fantastic advice, and now my moe for anon-sama threatens to overwhelm my senses! Why must I be burdened with this overwhelming affection for such a raging asshole?! How can I possibly live a fulfilling life without anon-sama?"▻щ(ºДºщ)
Anonymous
you think everyone who criticizes you wants to bang you? man, you must have been really confused at your last performance review
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How can I tell what gender I see someone as, if the question arises? Anonymous
okay so can you tell whether you think of a vegetable as a zucchini
if yes: like that, except sub “a person” for “a vegetable” and “a girl” for “a zucchini”
if no: I am not sure how to help you
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On Measuring Tradeoffs In Effective Altruism
On Measuring Tradeoffs In Effective Altruism
[Content warnings: scrupulosity; assumes the reader is an effective altruist and broadly on board with measuring the value of human lives in money.] I. A lot of arguments that vegetarianism is not effective altruism– for instance, this essay by Katja Grace– use the current cost of saving a life according to GiveWell as the approximate value of a human life. This would be sensible if charitable…
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start holding your boyfriends to best friend standards pls
“my boyfriend was annoyed that I didn’t shave for days” vs “my best friend was annoyed that I didn’t shave for days”
“my boyfriend doesn’t like my haircut so I’m growing it out again” vs “my best friend doesn’t like my haircut so I’m growing it out again”
“my boyfriend hates when I wear makeup so I guess I have to stop” vs “my best friend hates when I wear makeup so I guess I have to stop”
if your boyfriend would leave you for something that your best friend wouldn’t care about, KILL THEM AND EAT THEM
Lmfao
true tho because people forget having a partner is literally just having another best friend with a slightly different intimacy thrown in, not all the rules should change and you should feel 100% as comfortable with your partner as you do with a friend. it took me a long time to realize that.
um my boyfriend is physically attracted to me and my best friend is Not, therefore I pay attention to his preferences in my physical appearance where I don’t pay attention to my best friend’s? they don’t, like, completely outweigh my preferences– if I were dating someone who liked my hair long or my legs shaven, they are Shit Out Of Luck– but I am significantly more likely to get a buzzcut now than I was when I was dating Scott + I don’t think that’s unreasonable
also it ought to go both ways– my partners also ask for my opinion about whether they should cut their hair or grow a beard
(although I liked chroniclesofrettek‘s beard and Sarah didn’t so no beard :( :( my life is extremely difficult)
(via transmemesatan)
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Sorry, but I'm still not sure what you mean by someone classifying you as a woman. Are you literally just referring to the way they use that sequence of letters/sounds? If so, how does that interact with other languages? If not, can you explain it without using the word "woman"? Anonymous
Do you understand what I mean when I say “classifying something as a zucchini”? It means that when you look at this vegetable, you think “zucchini.” You behave to it as you might behave to a zucchini, which is different for different people– some may say “ick,” some may chop it up and put it in a soup, some may use it as a dildo. Different strokes.
Now, if you happen to be my dad, you may be under the impression that all green oblong vegetables are zucchini, and then make pasta with steamed cucumber, and it is super-gross. Even if I point to a particular green oblong vegetable and say “that is a cucumber”, and even if my father learns to refer to that one as a cucumber, and even if he behaves to it as he ought to behave to a cucumber (for instance, by not making pasta with it), he will still think of it deep down as being a zucchini. In that first instant when he looks at a cucumber, my father thinks “zucchini.”
I do not care what words people use to refer to me. Some people call me a girl, and it doesn’t make me feel dysphoric, because I am 100% confident they see me as nonbinary. Unfortunately, I cannot reasonably ask for everyone I encounter to see me as nonbinary. I can ask for them to use different words to avoid rubbing my face in the fact that they see me as female. But that’s not the thing I really care about. If everyone in the world could see me as nonbinary, and the price is that they would refer to me as “she”, I would do it in a heartbeat.
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ilzolende said: I thought CAFAB/CAMAB was for intersex people primarily?
there seems to be a Ginormous Debate about this, mostly between people who don’t understand how words work, but as best as I can tell in common usage if you say “so-and-so is cafab” no one will assume that you are saying they were intersex
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aprilwitching said: idk. i think they are both kind of true? people have definitely avoided me or reacted negatively to me for moving funny in public, but there are also lots of people who dont mind/dont care/dont notice. i’ve also had people approach me in this very intense, like…not necessarily flirtatious at all, but…“wow, im immediately and intensely charmed by you” way, though that could be bc of other stuff. idk i definitely think the dangers of moving atypically in public are dramatically overstated, often– no, you wont kill your social life just by flapping, geez– but i also think its just plain naive to think no one ever responds negatively to atypical movements, or avoids someone who moves in a way that seems crazy or disabled to them
I agree! I was being kind of flip.
My srs opinion is that if you don’t want to spend time with someone because they pace or flap or make weird noises (in ways that don’t disrupt the conversation), that is Your Fault and you cannot blame it on you being typically developing, b/c lots of typically developing people do not have that problem. But also passing is a really useful skill, because we do live in a world where a lot of people are dicks. And on the third hand framing it as “this is how you listen!” rather than “a lot of people assume that you aren’t listening unless you do these things” is like… really fucking awful… if I am not moving and looking at your face I am probably getting, like, a third of what you’re saying, + sometimes that is a reasonable tradeoff, but like… it’s a tradeoff!
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transmeme5atan said: Maybe I have a poor sample size but I’m inclined to say that if a boy is intolerable at 16 he’ll be intolerable at 26. 14 I’ll give you tho.
idk all I know is that I thought I was basically not into nonfictional guys until college, when I met ones who could have conversations that did not consist entirely of south park quotes
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“What we’re talking about here is something called “intersectionality,” which is the idea that everybody carries some form of privilege with them, even if they lack privilege in other areas.” —…Vox.
1. This is a bad way of understanding intersectionality, which is actually really interesting and productive.
2.This really feels like “possessing privilege makes you bad”.
(via dataandphilosophy)
NO THAT IS NOT WHAT INTERSECTIONALITY MEANS NO NO NO NO NO
(FLIPS TABLE)